> Don't apologize for what was none of your doing.
This is veering on off topic, but when people say they are "sorry" for something that happened to you they're not apologizing - it's an expression of empathy, not guilt.
I am aware such empty expressions of sympathy are often understood and frequently explained in the way you describe. I have learned to judge people's behavior before the account of it that they give. But you are correct that is off topic. Let's waste no further interest.
Please stop trying to impose your frame of victimhood on people who reject it.
I appreciate your intention, but please do not start trying to defend me. I will not take it as the act of an ally. Your own frame of victimhood is no less hazardous.