Honestly I think you might be grappling with getting older and the change that naturally comes with it.
>I've let many of my most meaningful friendships fade.
At least you acknowledge that part and aren't bitter at your friends that it is somehow their fault.
>but it doesn't feel like when I was in college and hung out with a crew of 10+ people on a weekly basis
And it won't, ever again. They'll get married, move away, have kids, whatever. Just like if you played a sport in high school, or were in the band, that same group of people will never be together doing that same activity again after the last time.
>curated events and meaningful connections for men who don’t want their friendships to atrophy post-college
Except you acknowledge above your role in the "atrophying" and while you can say you didn't/don't want that to happen, you still allowed it to didn't you?
>The goal is to get people in the same place on a consistent basis.
Isn't that called the gym, the range, the golf course, softball/kickball/pickle ball team, bar, etc? I've struggled (still?) with exactly this thing as well and don't have any good advice. I will say it feels related to the notion of wanting to have a significant other but never leaving the house, you gotta put the effort in. On the bright side I read an article about a couple that missed neighborhood connections so started having coffee on their porch on Saturday mornings (or some consistent day of the week) and eventually neighbors walking by started saying hello, then stopping to chat, then bringing their own coffee, and then it became this whole neighborhood thing. So I guess I'm saying don't lose hope that you can't change things in your situation.
You're definitely on to something. Although early 30s doesn't seem so old, the intense nostalgia of college has definitely waned. I would say I'm more grappling with the reality that it really won't ever again feel like that. I know it's true from a time perspective... I'm married and have a full-time job. But I figured I couldn't let the dream die that easily :)
Do you really develop lasting friendships on the course or in rec league sports? I just haven't had that experience and the popularity of those activities is sky rocketing (see: running clubs) while the problem doesn't seem to be getting any better.
> Do you really develop lasting friendships on the course or in rec league sports? I just haven't had that experience and the popularity of those activities is sky rocketing (see: running clubs) while the problem doesn't seem to be getting any better.
When I did rec league sports most of the guys were there to meet women
There wasn't a men's only league
That’s what I notice with a lot of meetups, etc. guys don’t even want to talk to other guys, they gotta talk to women only, personally I’ll talk to whoever
I think you can develop lasting friendships doing pretty much any group activity. But it can require a lot more effort (perhaps on your part) to get the ball rolling. Depending on the activity, you probably won't be having deep (or any) conversations while doing the activity, so you need to actively engage with people before or after the activity. That might be very small at first, but over many weeks or months might grow into grabbing a drink or meal after the activity, and being open to starting deeper conversations.
I'm terrible at this. I struggle to push myself to ask deeper questions of new friends, feeling like I'm being intrusive or prying, but I think it's necessary to do this in order to move forward. When we were in college, making friends was easy, because there was a shared experience right in front of us to talk about, and that could naturally lead to deeper conversations. As we get older, that isn't really there, and it takes active, deliberate effort to get there.